love haiku

love is like water

gentle flowing with the tide

hope and hopelessness

harbored sins

like air she breathes in to my soul

a faint murmur, a plead, of innocence lost

great stallion gliding through the dawn

through mountains and prairies, freedom gone

she whispers softly. 

like the tide’s gentle wave, to and fro

a rhythm, a beat, of childhood lost

haloed angel sweeping through the night

through endless clouds screaming, sins made right

she whispers softly.

like fire she runs across my bones

a desperation, a passion, of confessions lost

anxious painter, sway about the canvas

lines, perpendicular, glowing flames burst, alas

she whispers softly.

and she cries out to me, god, as if it is so

idolatry of passion, lights dimming, lost

a breath, a pause, a sweet remorse

a smile in the darkness, a sinful curse,

she whispers softly.

she whispers, softly.

flash

please pretend that i'm not here,
and that never do you see me
for if i'm here but am not there,
enough i cannot be

My Love

If I should grow old

            I’d grow old with you.

If I should grow weary,

            I’d walk slowly with you.

If I should fall in love,

            I’d be in love with you.

You may never see this,

            Perhaps you’ll never know;

But you’re forever in my heart,

            Since many years ago.



Missing you.

Week 1

it's been a week
feels like a year
since you have
left me here.

you've gone away
i wish you'd stayed
i wonder what
i could say.

i couldn't lie
i'd rather die
than lie until
i say good-bye.


i know that you are in pain
i feel it again and again
every day feels
like the rain.

i miss you so
why did you go?
i never meant
to be your foe.

Things I Never Told Him

i never told him how much i care

losing our friendship, i just couldn’t bear

i never explained the many things

that push me away, every day

there’s confusion inside me

but it is rightfully so

that he got sick of it and had to go.

i never revealed the secrets inside

that tear me apart, making me want to hide

it’s not you, it’s me

i mean it. no, really.

i’m falling apart

i’m lost in the dark

i need him back here

right beside me.

i know he is mad

and oh, so, so sad

but these are the things i’ll never say

now that he has gone away.

In honor of my best friend. Missing you. 

Rising

raised from perdition,
with a heavenly vision;

a chance to receive a holy grace,
or fall, an angel, down from space;

granted the choice to save us all,
or with us perish as we fall;

a love so great to erase the pain,
or memories so deep- our souls they reign;

beauty and peace? idealist views,
hatred and anger: they make nightly news;

surrender yourself to your broken fate,
there's no time to lose, no time to wait.

masquerade

what if you could be a rockstar
just one catch, but you'll go far,
you're perfect for the job they say
with a little new image...
it goes a long way.

so it's time for your big debut
a photo shoot for the cover- oh!
come with us, right this way
a bit of makeup before the stage

layer and layer they put on you
cover the freckles, make the eyes blue
redraw the eyebrows to make more space
to add more shadow to your face

you look in the mirror to see a girl
pale as the moon, and dark as a merl
you don't know who she is, but it's time they say
to head to the camera, to get on your way

you have settled,  you've sold out
to the media lies, to the celebrity route
psh, i'd never do that you say...
but...don't you do it every day?

you put on your mask then head to the town
a beauty queen, popularity bound
put a smile on your face
hide the frowns in every case

no, i act like me, you insist
no, listen, listen, i persist
we put on our masks of confidence
to hide the scars and the evidence. 

we like this and we like that
but we really don't, in fact.
eat that salad, not a steak,
keep it slim and lose that weight

you love coffee and indie too
only local grown for me and you
of course, of course, i've heard of that
coach, couture, rattatattatt

you laugh and you giggle
but on the inside you wiggle
you're crying, you're dying, can't anyone see?
past the mask, to the real me?

our masks are so well hidden
no one sees, even if you sicken
you're perfect, you're great, you're never late
make all the friends, get all the dates

this isn't how God made us to be
he made us to love and to be happy
love one another and love yourself
don't hide the real you on a shelf

but, a little masking isn't a sin
a bit of makeup and a little grin
i'm still who i am on the inside, you see
i just keep it on in, just...for me

there isn't a ticket, there isn't a prize
in the end, everyone dies
so portray yourself as you would like to be
in your only biography

act like you would for young girls to see
it's okay to be hurt. it's okay to be lonely
teach the next generation to hold their chins high
to stand up for what's right, and understand why

say when you're sad and mad and glad
be honest to each other, it's not that bad
take society's view of beauty
call it out as fake, and just be

i challenge you today
to take off the mask, and throw it away
be as you were made to be
in God's image, don't you see?

sisters

sisterhood is love
sisterhood is life
sisterhood is late 
4 a.m. nights.

sisterhood is late night chats
and early morning grumbles
sisterhood is hearing 
those morning tummy rumbles. 

sisterhood is without secrets,
(really, they don't exist)
sisterhood is making sure 
that everyone persists.

sisterhood is passing tests 
(and failing some too)
sisterhood is winding through
the college life zoo.

sisterhood is timeless
crafting nights (add glitter- times two!)
sisterhood is wedding days
and teary eyes too.

sisterhood is moving through 
life together- go! go! go!
sisterhood is knowing
that you're a Phi Rho.

love

beautiful sunset
infinite rain
orange glossy evening
tears on terrain

these are the things
i can't live without
the glow of your smile
that adorable pout

No Title

what is in the future
what was in the past
what is in the present
will this really last?

times are gonna change
people won't, it's true
but maybe it is worth it
yes, even for you

see life

if you see through the eye of the needle
what could you expect to learn?
you could see nothing but a beetle
there is so much more for which to yearn.

you must stay wide and open-eyed
to know there is much more
go 'round the world for a ride
right down to the earth's core.

whether by horse or car or train
you must the world explore
sunrise, sunset, sunshine, or rain
see everything, adore.

see people, animals, places, things
for what they are, discern
see the beauty that life brings
how hope and joy do burn.

...away...

fly away, like a sparrow
in the sky, so lightly
fly away, a butterfly
through the bush, always.

float away, a lily pad
in the pond, adrift
float away, a boat
in the river, so lonely.

Princess Nala

i'd like to be a cat
running all day until splat
knock over the drink
and not in the sink
Princess Nala is a brat

shhhhhhhhh...

i said i want to talk to you
they are only words that are meant for you
they are things i never say
anyone else would just run away

they are secrets and truths that i don't tell
because one of my greatest fears is when they yell
things that i keep to myself
telling others would be bad for their health

i used to be so smart, you see
i was cute and oh so pretty
then i made some big mistakes
that at night keep me awake

now i'm not looking for your sympathy
i only wish that you could hear me
i don't need help, i don't need hugs
but i need to rid myself of these bugs

memories, they're parasites that keep me here
much like hope but filled with fear
i wish that you could know me
so i wouldn't feel so lonely.

hope

can you die of a broken heart?
can you see light while in the dark?
can you breathe without air?
can you hope without fear?

if every night turns to day
can you live...without a way?
if every ocean has low tides
can you mistrust, but still confide?

yes, every smile has a frown
and every tide can still drown
not every wound will stop and clot
not every battle will be fought

you will give in,
yes you might lose
you won't get out
without a bruise

but maybe love can find away
to escape, but not have to pay
maybe dawn will beat the dusk
perhaps the scars will turn to dust

Doom

In the beginning there was darkness,

And still there is darkness,

But we can't just let it get to us,

There's something more that's meant for us,

A great chasm of sorrow,

But there's no time to wallow,

In this pain in this grief, your soul needs some relief.

It's so easy to just fall down and cry

But when we stand we cannot just die,

There has to be more to this life, to this doom.

We'll find it together if you just make some room.

From the Heart of Depression

tick tock

tick tock

the time runs out

on the clock

tick tock

tick tock

it flies away

in a bird flock

tip tap

tip tap

get lost in you

without a map

tip tap

tip tap

don’t get stuck

in a trap

click click

click click

it will be over

in a flick

click click

click click

the end is here

this will be quick.

blood blood

blood blood

it pours out

like a flood

blood blood

blood blood

it cracks and dries

like the mud.

cry cry

cry cry

regret is here

by and by

cry cry

cry cry

your mind screamed it

die! die!


This one is pretty dark. There are still a lot of people in my life that I know do or have cut themselves. I know many who would rather die than live. Don't let them be alone. Be with them. Loneliness is the worst. Be a friend and speak up when you know that something is wrong.