city lights

I have never felt so inferior as when I stood on the forefront of the Industrial Revolution, Great gears 8 foot round tower over me, Vast towers 20 feet high, and they are common. And I was astounded at mankind’s greatness. I could see the skyline of the city 100 feet tall And the bridges stretching across whole rivers, And then I truly looked. I saw the earth, the sun, the moon, a thousand galaxies and planets All pointing towards a single drop of dew On a single petal, of a single tulip In a single garden, at a single house. And I saw the lines on my hands that only I have, And so I stood on the frontlines of God’s revolution. And I was astounded.

hungry soul.

my feet:
              rough with the grains of sand
              that i walk upon without shoes
              scorching or freezing we must
              walk on
my hands:
              gentle callouses and dried out skin
              from hard labor jobs just to survive
              to keep pressing on, just until
              tomorrow
my stomach:
              empty, unless you count watered down coffee
              because honestly the check doesn't
              pay the bills. so you can eat once
              per day
my eyes:
             tired, with dark circles upon them
             there is no time to sleep. it's not safe to sleep
             you have to stay up, 24 more hours, just stay awake
             here
my hair:
            getting lighter and lighter, i'll tell you it's the sun
            but it falls out and breaks because i just can't
            get the vitamins i need to thrive, but...it's
            summer, so i'll use this excuse instead.

my heart.
full of sorrow and remorse and things i haven't done yet
wondering if i'll make ends meet tomorrow
and how long someone can survive on 380 calories a day
14 grams of fat and 8 grams of protein, ramen
what the hell is thiamine monononitrate and why is it in my food?
and it makes me laugh to think that not even this can i sustain
i can't even afford twenty five cents a day
because then i can't have electricity.
and oh i will laugh it off and say hashtag college!
and i'll go out with you for coffee to make it seem
like i'm okay. but i'm not.
i'm tired of living this way, with a smile on my face
and reassurances
no i don't need money, yes my classes are going great
of course i get enough sleep and veggies to eat

seriously? you can say it out loud every day
and it doesn't make it true.
but i press on, because

my feet:
             battle-worn and victory to keep firmly planted
             in reality. wouldn't raise the white flag. my flag is red
             covered in the stains of obstacles overcome. quilt them together
             and rest easy.

my hands:
             attached to strong arms and with a gentle caress
             i will reassure you that you will be alright
             because strong and hardworking are not any less
             beautiful.

my stomach:
             pushes through the hunger pains and can handle morbid
             things, because

my eyes:
             have seen so much and just want to heal.
             the tidal waves of memories remind me to
             relinquish my soul to the hearts of those less
             fortunate

my hair:
            blowing in the wind as i take a deep breath and
            i spin, sucking the marrow out of the beauty of
            the universe. no, it doesn't hide secrets. my hair
            hides galaxies.

my heart:
            beats, one moment at a time.
            ready to face tomorrow.
            beating.
            beating.