to those who watch her

for a friend fighting bipolar disorder. we love you. 


it's called bipolar.
you've noticed it now
we love her so much
i know you can't see how
you see, we've realized that perhaps
the only way
is to back off and have her find her own way

it's called bipolar.
don't think of her differently
remember her smile and love of comedy
remember her laugh on the hardest days
and remember to pray and to pray and to pray

she's not just weird- though that may be true
let me tell you about steps one and two
it's mania for now, and depression much later
you have two to three months if you'll take her

step 1, there's a boy. he's handsome i'll say
she talks like Solomon on their wedding day
step 2, she stops sleeping, makes calls all night
posts on Facebook saying that she's really alright

there's more if you'll listen
steps 3 and 4, and then it gets worse, it gets worse i am sure
step 3, she spends money and a lot of it too
she'll buy anything- movies, electronics, a zoo
step 4, she loves God and the Bible, so real
that every number means something like an astrology deal

for now it seems calm....ish most days
but it's going to get worse if you'll let her stay.
in a few weeks her voice will change
her tone and her words will seem far, far away

next things turn violent if you suggest she seeks help
screaming in courtyards,
threatening neighbors, forks in a blender
i'll cut you, she says, don't tell me my truth
she'll throw your dog, drop a baby, she'll forget what to do

this can last a long time, but don't forget her
a month or two in you'll remember
her laugh and her smile, but don't forget the dark days
it's coming, the worst, keep your eyes pryed

when it's time the depression hits. it's subtle and small
until one day you'll get a phone call
"i love you,'' she says, ''don't forget that when..."
"when what?" you say as the call drops
and so does your heart as the clock tocks

it's time now to rush in to action. she does not
want to hear it, but now is the time
she'll agree...eventually, despite all the yelling.
midnight, or 2, usually.

off to the hospital, she doesn't like cops.
bring a friend and her blanket, her pillow on top.
sit for hours for admittance, now wait
no take-backsies in spite of her fight

the worst is over for a few days,
they'll take her.
her mania and depression will slow
in a week or so, it will be time to go

bring her socks and her shorts, no strings or tags
they could use them to hurt themselves.
the ward is bleak and sad, and many are much worse
but it's where she needs to be, just for now

but she leaves too early, every time.
it will repeat, repeat, repeat in a line
once or twice more, keep it up now
the worst is over, you've completed your vow

when she's better for now, she'll apologize
don't forget to love her, they aren't lies
her demons they take her every time,
because when bipolar is here we're all blind

love her well and keep her
as long as you can, please understand
we love her too and want to help
but in the end, she can only save herself